From a Jew: An open letter to my so-called 'friends'
This past week, I learned that I don’t have any friends.
Not one single person in my life who’s not Jewish or in a relationship with someone who’s Jewish has posted anything online - or, better yet, messaged me privately - to express their horror / disgust / sadness / thoughts / prayers / ANYTHING with regard to the gruesome terrorist attack on Israeli civilians and the immediate aftermath all across the Western world that SHOULD have been of grieving Jews (and non-Jews alike) lighting candles and comforting each other peacefully and safety but, instead, was an impressive showcase of widespread antisemitism in our own backyards.
Not. One. ‘Friend’.
What part of ‘This is Israel’s 9/11’ and ‘This is the single biggest massacre of Jews since the Holocaust’ didn’t you understand?
I have barely slept or eaten in over a week. I cancelled appointments in a Jewish area on the 'International Day of Jihad' so I wouldn't risk getting harmed. I’m publishing this article anonymously to make it harder for dangerous people to track me down. I'm strongly considering legally changing my tightly-held, Holocaust-surviving Jewish surname to my husband's garden-variety English surname for safety, as you just never know who might be taking note of your home address on your driver's license or electricity bill.
This is how my world has been turned upside down in the past week.
No one cares.
No where was this realisation more stark than right here in Australia. While Muslims were chanting ‘Gas the Jews’ and burning Israeli flags on the steps of the Sydney Opera House, ‘social justice warriors' were calling the 61% of Australians who voted ‘No’ in the Aboriginal Voice to Parliament referendum, which included thousands of non-white Aussies and a significant percentage of Aboriginal people themselves, ‘white, redneck racists’ - yet were eerily silent on the topic of actual genocidal racists. Really? Not even one simple-minded meme for us? Some blue and white hearts if you can’t find the words, perhaps? Bueller? Bueller? Humph.
Note: If you’re tripping over the word ‘racist’, like ‘Um, isn’t Judaism a religion?’ Technically, yes. But not when it comes to killing Jews.
50% of Jews are secular. Jew haters don’t care what you do or don’t believe. They care about your bloodline, as did Hitler. That makes Jews a ‘race’.
To add insult to injury, while the aforementioned 'social justice warriors' were obsessing over acknowledging the ‘traditional owners of the land’ in the constitution (oh, and at the beginning of every podcast episode, TV show, live concert, sporting event and business meeting - just in case we forget), most of them have been completely hoodwinked into believing that Palestinians are the 'traditional owners of the land' of Israel - when it's a mind-numbingly basic historical fact that they're not. Jews are! It's a long, complicated story and we all deserve a piece of the pie. But the point is words like 'colonizers', 'settlers' and 'occupiers' are offensive, inaccurate and unhelpful. We're not asking for 'acknowledgement' or to have the land all to ourselves. We're just asking to not be murdered, raped, tortured or kidnapped. Too much?
Likewise, highly inflammatory words such as ‘apartheid state’, ‘ethnic cleansing’ and ‘genocide’ stated as fact and repeated over and over by 'Free Palestine' mobs is a lesson in mass gaslighting and is reminiscent of Nazi propaganda. But when you have only 16 million Jews in the world (less than two thirds of the population of Australia) and 2 BILLION Muslims, Muslims just shout louder.
And if you shout a lie loud enough and say it often enough, it must be true, right? That’s literally how Donald Trump convinced millions of Americans that the 2020 United States presidential election was ‘stolen’ from him.
Oh, those American idiots. We’re much smarter and more sophisticated than them, right? Hmmm.
But back to you, dear ‘friends’…
For various reasons, my expectations of some of you are higher than others. But across the board, my expectations are extremely low. It would have been nice if you posted some outrage, heartbreak or any semblance of empathy whatsoever for Israelis / Jews / human beings on your social media when you first saw all that vile footage, but I don’t expect you to.
However, I do look forward to your passionate ‘Nup to the Cup’ memes on Melbourne Cup day in a couple of weeks because Horse Lives Matter.
And I definitely don’t expect you to post that you ‘Stand with Israel’ or even post an Israeli flag emoji - something most of you did for Ukraine without thinking twice. You might be surprised to learn that even I haven’t posted an Israeli flag emoji. This isn’t a football match. It's not about picking a team and displaying their colours. Try as we might, there’s no one symbol that could possibly sum up the complexity or emotion of this situation - except maybe the gushy vomit emoji.
Most of you know literally nothing about the Israel / Palestine conflict and you don’t care to learn. After all, you’ve got Halloween costumes and Christmas parties to focus on.
Many of you are 'torn' because you THINK you know about the Israel / Palestine conflict but you’re scarily misinformed and don’t wish to be corrected because too many basic facts might make you feel stupid. I attempted to share some carefully curated resources on my social media that won't make you feel bad about yourselves or ask you to disregard the plight of the Palestinian people, which I can only assume every single one of you chose to ignore because I haven’t heard a peep.
I’ll let you get back to 'cancelling' people for not stating their gender pronouns in their professional bios now.
And some of you actually do totally get it - yet you still haven’t taken one second out of your busy day to show you care. Meanwhile, within the last week, the entire Jewish community (which I was barely a part of) have become best friends. Because we have to. Again.
So, what DO I expect from you?
Well, I expect my closer friends to contact me personally. Just a text will suffice.
I expect the 'social justice warriors' whose non-stop posts about comparatively mindless topics I've had to endure every single day for many years now to show some compassion about this hugely important issue. Your hypocrisy is jarring.
And I expect more (heck, ANY) of you to click on one of my resources (see below) and learn something. Australians in particular live in such a bubble. If this catastrophe doesn't shake you out of your own little world for a moment, nothing will.
Look, I know you're not bad people. But I have to be honest: I'm done with you for now. This incident was somewhat of a friendship litmus test - and you failed.
(Article continues below this image of four select social media posts and creators.)
After this week of radio silence, I can't be the one to reach out, see how you're doing and organise the next catch-up like nothing happened. It just feels... icky. Unfair. Humiliating. If you want to see me, you know where I am.
After the Holocaust, my grandmother - who lost almost her entire family and spent the rest of her life with a Nazi bullet half a centimetre away from her heart because doctors told her it was too dangerous to remove - never fully trusted a non-Jew ever again.
I never understood that before. I do now.
Resources
If you only consume once piece of content about this whole darn thing, make it this 30-minute video. Not only is it an extremely enlightening history lesson, it’s also a lesson in how to communicate effectively and discuss important topics. If you like it, please share it, watch his other videos and follow him on YouTube.
If you give two shits about how your Jewish friends are feeling right now and you’d like to remain a part of their lives, watch this. Then read her Substack.
This article by a Harvard-educated Jewish Israeli American is insightful. Please click on all the links, especially the ones at the end in the footnotes (eek).
Please listen to this 15-minute podcast episode on the difference between Israel and its enemies. It was recorded almost 10 years ago but is just as relevant today. Start with that one. Follow it up with this recent one if you’re still interested.
This podcast episode is an extremely fair and balanced perspective from a Jewish American who’s lived in Israel and just wants peace.
In this podcast episode, two non-Jewish women (one ex-Muslim) who are experts in the ‘culture wars’ explain why this event could be ‘the last gasp of wokeness’.
This podcast episode is two Jewish women - one in the US and one in Israel - discussing the terrorist attack and upsetting response to it by non-Jewish people.
This gay comedian is the only person who’s made me (and countless others) laugh out loud about this recent tragedy. Can’t wait to go to one of his shows!
This Asian comedian also made me giggle about this conflict. What a legend!
This is the Sesame Street for Adults version of whose ‘side’ you should be on - because so many of you still don’t get it and refuse to learn. It’s short and simple.
This 5-minute video explains the trouble with the ‘peaceful majority’ argument. The speaker is a Lebanese Christian American who was rescued from Islamic extremists in Lebanon by Israelis and treated in an Israeli hospital.
This brave and peace-loving Jewish Israeli activist and now soldier is giving interviews to both left and right-leaning media from the front lines.
I’m enjoying this Jewish New Yorker’s IG content from a personal perspective as events unfold. He’s said many things others are thinking and feeling.
As much as I loathe the word ‘ally’ (it’s been tainted by the woke left), I appreciate that this non-Jewish TikTok / Instagram ally is trying to talk some sense into y’all.
These two female broadcasters - one Jewish, one Christian, both not religious - will keep you up to date as things escalate (and they will). Please follow them.
There are so many books I could recommend, but I’ll just recommend this one. It’s by the aforementioned female Jewish broadcaster.
This entire independent media outlet run by a Jewish lesbian powerhouse is keeping me sane at the moment. This is what happens when progressives take a big ol’ trip to Crazy Town - they lose their best and brightest.
This is the best TV show I’ve seen in a long time, it came out this year and it’s the Anne Frank Holocaust story from the point of view of the people who hid them. It’s called A Small Light, it’s outstanding and now’s a great time to watch it. It’s confronting but not brutal and it makes you question how good of a person you really are (note: probably no where near this good). In Australia, it’s on Disney. Find out where it’s streaming in your neck of the woods - and prepare to binge!